Monday, May 2, 2011

jealousy as a learning tool

 I used to be jealous, but over the past few years, I have worked to understand where that feeling comes from, the source of the ugly monster. I have done this by going deeper into the emotions of jealousy,  rolling around in the gripping, sick feeling that I feel in my solar plexus/abdomen ( you may feel it somewhere else)...I found, for me, it came from a place of abandonment, loneliness, fear of loss, separation,and just plain ole fear.   Nowadays, Im trying to live fearlessly... , this 'diving deeper' into the jealousy pool-the dark, sorrowful place where I began to overcome my fear, has been a conduit for dissolving the jealousy. Literally,imaging the particles of it falling away from me.
Jealousy can get even worse as you age and every younger woman (or man if you are of a different ilk or gender), seems a threat, whether they are beautiful or not!...when I was younger, and totally HOT, I could tell myself that "Im more beautiful than her" and believe it (ahhh,the lies we tell ourselves are the hardest ones to stop telling), but, really, its ALL an illusion,.. beauty,wealth,power, influence,... what's real? What's real is what you are left with when this life is done.Truth and Love! (can i get a witness? hallelujah!-coming at ya from the church of deb)... truth =beauty = power, and all three are truly within you,...
  I now see the real beauty in everyone...I reflect your beauty back to you, Im just a mirror,polished and reflective. My energy is your energy. When you look at me, you are seeing your own shining light...and you are so beautiful.
 I'll  keep polishing my mirror, you are responsible for your own.
 The brighter your mirror,the more love is returned to you.
If everyone is ONE, then how can we be jealous of our self?
 
ps, thats my son,Marley!

2 comments:

  1. Beauty ultimately always comes from within. How many gorgeous women become ugly after listening to them and how many "seemingly normal" women become stunning after you see their internal beauty! LOVED hearing your story, you are truly beautiful. I can't wait to read your book! xoxo Miki

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  2. I’m in love with you. 💋

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