Day 5 of my first fast EVER!
Hard to believe that I have never thought to do this....hhmmmm,did I believe I was not ready or didn't need too?
This is a lesson folks. everyone needs to bE WITHOUT food to understand your relationship with it and how our lives revolve around it.
Why? some might ask? Just shut up and eat!
Because being aware of your habits and your behaviors makes you a better person...did I write better person? yes, I did. To do anything blindly,without thoughts or intention ,is to take it for granted. In any relationship, we must maintain a vigilant awareness of the relationship so as to make it healthier, stronger, more beautiful. Cultivating and creating our foods ,relationships, and our lives. Bringing awareness to each simple act, even taking a bite of food.
Food isn't just about being hungry. No, its much more, as anyone who has a disorder(overeating or starving) will share with you. Food is comfort,stability, security, ...so now, take it away...what do you have? A whole lot of time on your hands, to do a lot more things, like dance, sing, create, sew, surf, fix stuff,...
Yes, Im liking this "no food" fast. I have my lemons,maple syrup, and my cayenne to keep me happy, and amazingly, its doing just that.I feel great! Clear!
So, take my advice, try it.
especially if you are going through a hard time in life right now, something big and stressful.The fast will help you get clarity,...it will...
Not only is it a colon cleanse, its a psyche cleanse too.
love and lemons(or should I write "lovin lemons!"?).

master cleanse day 3

Im not intending to lose weight ,but know it to be a side effect. The real purpose was to see if I COULD do it at all. I wanted to test my discipline that had gotten weaker as of late.Lazy.I like the sloth but dont want to become one.
This cleanse is about cleaning out your mind,body, and psyche, and after only 2 days,(this is day 3) seems to be doing just that.Im not sure if the effect is psychological ,or how it works on us, but it has something to do with our ATTACHMENT to food. Im NOT hungry,amazingly, at all! But, we attach a lot of interaction around food gathering, activity, preparation, emotion, "did you like it" you ask your kids. your hubs feels appreciative that you cooked for him(hopefully)or disappointed if you didnt. ,so there is a lot of FEELINGS associated with it.
I would definitely wean caffeine before trying to go without it. I usually had 1-2 cups a day before.so it wasnt bad except for the almost- migraine headache from hell.
Caffiene is one of the "toxins"(not my word!) that is cleansed from the body. I admit to having a little veg soup broth in the evening when I had the headache with an additional NONO,advil, but I had no recourse.
I feel better than I have for months and wonder why? I got things done yesterday that had been sitting on my list for weeks and today should get more done.The pesky chores that HAVE to be done (applications, jury duty, fundraiser material, getting the lights fixed, fixing the bike, washing the giant rug,etc...).
They say it is easier if you do it with someone and if you dont have to cook for others,which I do.I have lost 3 pounds,that I had slowly gained over the last year. Not a bad thing in this culture.
Try it if you want to enhance your energy and clarity, it works
ENTHUSIASTIC love!

master cleanse-my personal saga

So, here I am,day #2 of this lemonade feast! Yesterday was awful.It started out ok, but ended up with a 19 out of 10 pain on a scale of 10 being the worse. my head began to hurt and slowly built up to a crescendo while driving my kid to the movies.I was incapacitated and couldn't speak. I barely made it home, praying and crying for it to be gone. My hubs insisted that I eat soup broth.I did ,with 2 advil and an ice pack. 30 minutes later,it subsided. Now, in the first place, Im doing this for spiritual advancement and discipline.Weight loss is secondary,Well, thats what Im telling myself anyway. Regardless of the motivation,I have now begun to completely rethink or THINK of my relationship with food,I've known food a long time and have taken it for granted . Never realizing how psychologically attached I was to the stuff. So many aspects of food that I never think about. Well, thats changed!I am now not only thinking about food ,but about how it affects me.
And as far as being an UNHEALTHY thing to do.SMoking, drinking,overeating, and sex with strangers is a hell of a lot worse than lemons,maple syrup, and cayenne.
Im going to try to keep this up for awhile..Day 2 has been interesting.I started the second part of the cleanse,which is the salt water flush.You add 1 teaspoon of salt to a warm glass of water and drink it.Within 10 minutes, you had better make a move to the potty cause you are gonna be pooping!I actually liked the taste of the salt,I pretended like it was chicken soup and it really did taste good.I've lost 3.5 pounds.When I look at myself,I look the same.I asked my friend,Nesa,who had done this cleanse many times before, where was the the weight lost from? She answered"grief". HA!
I felt light headed all day but with amazing bursts of energy. I got a lot of lingering tasks done today that had been festering for weeks. And, things that bother me normally, like nagging thoughts about my kids or my husband seemed to dissipate as quickly as the thoughts arose,...I like that .
I'll keep you updated in case you are considering doing this.It is quite an experiment in getting to know yourself better and I respect everyone who has done it. It feels purifying, empowering, and go figure, CLEANSING!

Sex,I mean,Saks ,therapy...not needed

I was at Saks Fifth Ave the other day with my hubs and daughter who were doing a photo shoot for the upcoming Fathers Day issue of Palm Springs Life Magazine.Brian was modeling, Mikaela was the photographer. I was watching the shoot from the shoe dept... When I began to notice the patrons of the shoe dept and their interactions with the sales folk. I watched as an older ,well dressed woman in her 60's strategized with the sales person. The fact that they both knew each other on a first name basis was my first clue ...The salesman explained to the second saleswoman"Ms Jenkins would like to put 500$ on her card on file and the rest on this personal card". Ms Jenkins apparently hoping to manipulate the cards so that whoever was in charge of paying them didn't see how much she was spending in the shoe dept. that day. They all smiled smugly,all -knowing. I realized that this was her therapy. Her "Saks Therapy".Her smile was clever and complicated, like a gambler who just won a slot machine.
I continued to observe this scene play out again and again, as I sat waiting for the photo shoot to end. These women were getting their 'fix', their 'hit' of momentary "happiness". ..I had to wonder, was I like that ,not so long ago? Before I had my spiritual awakening? Seeking meaning and fulfillment in shopping?
I've come a long way down this beautiful path.......no saks therapy needed.

bliss is attainable

having attained a blissful state( Im not always there,but I have reached it),it is my personal experience to KNOW bliss. Bliss is definitely NOT an emotional state controlled by thoughts and feelings..it is a state of complete absence of thinking ,dissolution of sensory input,and hyper-acuity.......I have no desire to explain it or how to attain it. I know it.If you wish to experience it,you will have to want it, study, seek, explore, and believe in your perfection.
By maintaining an emotional state of anger,disappointment or frustration because others have not lived up to your expectations is the fertile ground where the seeds of unconditional love ,awareness, and KNOWLEDGE are planted. Remember, poop makes the best soil.
but, hoping to change the world with love and happiness by exacting contempt/anger/unhappiness on humanity is like using a condom when you want to have a baby.
walking a spiritual, enlightened path means discipline. Reading about bliss and experiencing or
living bliss are as different as watching football in your living room or being the quarterback in the super bowl.
Know this,happiness is attainable, bliss is available.Start by loving your self.

New York is the best INTERACTIVE performance piece of all!

We had an amazing trip to New York, we realized that the entire city is a performance piece , a stage, and everyone participates.every character is represented, the rich,club owning playboy who desires true happiness, the beautiful woman with the better than you attitude, the ancient jewish grandmother who breathes New york like life blood, the crazy guy with the big talk, the con man, the russia wife, the silly japanese girl, the elegant maven, the socialite denizen, the tortured artist, the homeless intellectual, the wall street shark,the excited collegiate,the jester, the clown, the cowboy, the mother, the cabbie from poland that bought his home ,the curious, the chess playing boy, the loud mouth fast talking hustler, the quiet watcher,the black clad cigarette smoking cachetic model with the pale skin and sunken cheek bones ,the brooklyn girls in high stilletto heels stumbling drunk down the cobbled stoned streets of chelsea looking for a husband with a job,...everyone actively playing the part wonderfully-which makes it the largest scale performance piece of all, and when I come , I get to be IN it!.. the lady-doctor,who performs in Rock operas,present in the midst of seeming chaos, with rainbow dreads from california that meditates in the middle of the street! my handsome, smoking hot neurosurgeon husband. wow, what a host of charcters.

see u again...on to coachella
love and fired up
dr d

changing habits-surrender vs desire and resistance

at the start of yoga today,we made an intention.Mine was to change old behavioral patterns/habits. By the end of class right as we began corpse pose, Carol told the class to surrender.In my mind ,I pictured Dorothy in the "Wizard of Oz". and the black smoke in the sky"SURRENDER DOROTHY" and realized that the movie was a metaphor for the life of illusion we live. As I surrendered into the pose, I knew that I was also surrendering my desperate desire to CHANGE my reactive behaviors, and the anger I felt towards the people that I was directing my reactive behavior to. As soon as I surrendered , I realized that my behavior, my feelings of anger , my feelings of frustration , and my disappointment with myself at being unable to change had dissolved. Just by the power of surrender, I had ceased to resist or fight the behavior and it was changed, In my surrender, I became aware of the "stuckness" of my resistance.Even though I wanted to change ,I was so needy and desirous of change that it actually was keeping me IN the behavior patterns,.That the patterns of behavior were intertwined with my inability to change it.It frustrated me and I couldnt change it, As soon as I relaxed into surrender of what IS , I was able to see...becoming aware,overcoming frustration and changing my desire. WOW.